Intervention of Maja Jésmanowicz, former intern of ELFAC and volunteer in the Polish associacion of large families 3Plus, in the conference “Europe, DNA of the future” at the European Parliament on 22 April 2026.
Thank you very much for inviting me to take part in the conference. It is a challenge for me, but also a great joy. My name is Maja JM and I am from Poland, from Warsaw. I have five younger siblings, and for many years I was involved in the activities of the Large Families Association in Poland.
I would like to focus on one perspective — the perspective of young people.
It is precisely the younger generation that will decide in the coming years which direction the demographic situation in Europe will take. Seeing what the current situation looks like — unfortunately, it has been getting worse every year — together with a group of young people, we began organizing the Youth Congress on the Family.
The aim of the Congress was to ask: why do young people not have children — and what can be done about it? At demographic conferences, it is often experts, researchers, politicians, and parents who speak — that is, people who have already made family decisions. Much less often, however, the floor is given to those who are only just facing that choice. And yet it is precisely we, the young, who will be making the decisions that will determine Europe’s demographic future.
That is why three years ago we organized the first Youth Congress on the Family in Poland. We created a space in which young people can talk to one another at least once a year — honestly, without pressure, without judgment. A space for exchanging experiences, but also for meeting experts and searching for real solutions. Since then, we have managed to organize three editions of the Congress. Unfortunately, last year we were unable to secure funding, and it was the first year without the Congress.
So then, why do young people not want to have children? This question is appearing more and more often in newspapers and in the media.
My answer may be surprising: young people do want to have children. Research shows that from seventy to as many as ninety percent of young people declare that they want to have children. Only a small percentage — around ten to fifteen percent — say openly that they do not want children at all.
The problem, then, is not a lack of willingness, but the postponement of that decision.
So the key question should be: why do young people not have children, even though they say they want them?
I would like to point to the three most important reasons.
First — the lack of a suitable partner.
More and more young people experience difficulties in building lasting relationships. Relationships are less stable, break down more often, and many people remain single for a long time — not always by choice. Research shows that a large proportion of young people point precisely to the lack of a suitable partner as one of the main barriers to starting a family. This is important, because the decision to have a child is very strongly linked to a sense of security in a relationship. If there is no stable relationship, the decision to have a child is postponed.
In Poland, nearly forty-five percent of young people (aged eighteen to thirty-five) are not in any relationship — so how are they supposed to start a family?
Second — the vast range of possibilities that modern life offers.
Today’s generation has far more options before it than earlier generations. Education, professional development, travel, changing one’s place of residence, pursuing passions. All of this has value. But at the same time, it makes life more “open” and less predictable. The decision to have a child begins to compete with many other possibilities. And it often loses — at least for some time.
The younger generation is also much more used to comfort. We grew up in better times, and we are accustomed to convenience. It is not easy for us to give it up.
Third — the widespread availability of contraception.
This is a topic that appears less often in public debate, but it is very important. In previous generations, a significant proportion of first children were unplanned. It is estimated that around 30 to 47% — that is, on average around 40% — of first pregnancies were not planned in advance. That first child often became the beginning of a family. Subsequent children were then more often a conscious decision.
Today, the situation looks different. Thanks to the availability of contraception, the number of unplanned pregnancies has decreased significantly. This means that having a child has become a fully conscious decision. And every conscious decision can be postponed — sometimes for a very long time.
What can we do about this?
First — research, analyze, and talk to young people.
We need better data: how many people want to have children, when, how many — and what is holding them back. But it is equally important to create spaces for conversation. Not only about young people — but with young people. Because without their perspective, it will be difficult to create effective solutions.
We must stop creating headlines such as “young people do not want children” — because this builds a narrative that is repeated and planted in young people’s minds. We need to work with real information — to say clearly: young people want to have children, but they are not having them. What can we do about this?
Second — promote a positive image of the family.
Young people need role models. Not everyone gets them from home. Not everyone sees lasting, happy relationships around them. That is why it is so important to show that family can be a place of growth, support, and happiness. Not perfect — but good and valuable.
If we truly want to respond to the demographic crisis, we must include young people in this conversation on a much greater scale. Because Europe’s demographic future will not be decided only in strategies and reports. It will be decided in the everyday choices of young people.
I would like this positive thought to stay with us today — young people still want children; however, we must make it so that they decide to have them earlier.
Thank you for your attention.